“Control is the master addiction”

Hearing this yesterday morning gave me a huge insight!

I heard it on the Rewilding Love podcast with Angus and Rohini Ross.

It made me stop in my tracks.

I had never seen it that way.

Every human addiction is routed in the need to control a feeling.
Every workaholic is trying to control work and money.
Everyone who burns out is trying to control a lot.

As I headed towards burnout, I can now see how much control played a part.

This GIF was absolutely how I saw the world! 😂

I was trying to control the outside world in order to make myself feel better.

That meant I had a lot to do and even more on my mind.
That meant I was stressed to the hilt.
That meant that I never felt okay because the outside world did not fall into line!

I, like many, was caught up in the a very simple misunderstanding.

The misunderstanding about where our feelings come from.

The misunderstanding which pervades society is that our feelings come from the outside world.


100% of the time, we feel how we feel because we think how we think in the moment.

They is no other source of human feelings.

When you see this, you realise that your feelings are an indicator of your state of mind.

Until you see this, you think your feelings are an indicator of the outside world which means it makes perfect sense to do things in the outside world to feel better.

That’s what makes wine, a cigarette or chocolate seem like the ultimate stress reliver.

That’s what causes addiction.

Perhaps you have noticed that you are trying to control your feelings by doing things in the outside world.

You might not have yet because it really can be tricky to see.

But if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed and stuck, I guarantee that this simple but often illusive misunderstanding is the cause.

I can help you see where it is at play if you are ready!

If you are a busy, midlife founder, CEO or leader who is ready to go from feeling ... Stressed, Overwhelm & Stuck TO Calm, Clarity and Contentment then please accept my gift of 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer Calm by clicking here.

You can watch me talk more about this topic on the video or catch up via my podcast below.

Control is the Master Addiction

by Clare Downham - Queen of Calm | The Calmcast