My ex-husband lives next door with ‘the woman’ who was pivotal in my marriage breakdown.


That is the truth.

As I am sat writing this post, their bedroom is about 2 metres away in the adjoining house.

Many people I speak to wonder how I stay calm in this circumstance.

Trust me that I didn’t for a long time.

I used to rant and rave about it.

You see it wasn’t in the plan! It was supposed to be temporary.

He moved there to rent a room when we first split up 9 years ago but then the man who owned the house moved and sold to my ex husband.

Very shortly after he moved her in!

I had a problem with it for a long time.

It span around my head and kept me awake at night.

But then I had an interaction with a very wise man.

He said to me, “Why do you continue to think about it?”

At first I flustered and pushed against what he was saying.

I thought I could relieve my suffering by ranting 😂

But then I really heard what he was pointing to.

I think that was my first inside out realisation.
I saw that it was not my strange living situation that was the problem.
I saw that it was my thinking about my strange living situation.

The more I ranted about it, the more I felt bad!


It was like I realised that I was creating my own suffering and it didn’t make sense to do that to myself any more.

Suddenly I was able to stay calm despite my circumstances.

What a relief.

If there is something in your life that you are ranting about and you would like to accept it, have a generally nicer experience of life and stay calm despite your circumstances, perhaps we should talk.

If you are a busy, midlife founder, CEO or leader who is ready to go from feeling ... Stressed, Overwhelm & Stuck TO Calm, Clarity and Contentment then please accept my gift of 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer Calm by clicking here.

You can watch me talk more about this topic on the video or catch up via my podcast below.

Manage to Stay Calm Despite Your Circumstances

by Clare Downham - Queen of Calm | The Calmcast