I woke up this morning feeling anxious.

Already my thoughts were racing. Last night she had done it again.

Yet more ridiculous, accusatory messages. More changes to a schedule which has been set for nearly a year.

Her controlling things again!

Her reducing the time my fiancé gets with his child. At Christmas!!

As I thought about what I would like to say to her … the feelings ramped up!
As I thought about why she was doing it … the feelings ramped up!
As I thought about all the times before … the feelings ramped up!

I exercised but the thoughts kept rolling in.

I tried to think about other things but still they kept appearing.

Then I had a realisation.

I realised I was hurting myself.

That awful feeling was being created by me.

The aching heart.
The churning stomach.
The feeling of tension.

All me!

In the moment of that realisation, something shifted.

The thoughts started to lesson.

Suddenly it did not make sense to hurt myself.

And from that place, the compassion for her flowed forward.

I realised she only has her thinking.

I saw her psychological innocence!

I knew that she could not be any different.

I saw that she was innocently creating suffering with her own thinking.

Then I settled a little more.

Now, as I am writing this post, the feelings I had before are meer shadows of what they were.

They are being dissolved by my clever psychological immune system which comes into play once we know how things work.

Once we see that we are creating our own suffering with our thinking, it only makes sense to STOP!

Of course, until we are aware that thought is the creator of all our experience we don’t know to stop.

This very funny video really makes this point beautifully but if you fancy a calmer discourse on it, check out my video or podcast episode.

And if you would like to stop hurting yourself with your thinking, please reach out.

If you are a busy, midlife founder, CEO or leader who is ready to go from feeling ... Stressed, Overwhelm & Stuck TO Calm, Clarity and Contentment then please accept my gift of 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer Calm by clicking here.

You can watch me talk more about this topic on the video or catch up via my podcast below.

What is Really Creating Our Anxious Feelings?

by Clare Downham - Queen of Calm | The Calmcast