We are toning down Christmas this year.

Less gifts.
Less stuff.
Less under the tree.

I used to seek a lot to feel happier.

A big house
A flash car.
To be at the top of my career.

I chased those things but when I got them I realised that the happiness was short lived.

At the time, I thought that meant I didn’t have enough.

I thought there must be something more in the outside world.

Something that would eventually make me feel happy.

So I kept going!

Working harder and harder.
Pushing more and more.
Eventually burning out.

You might read a lot of ideas about burn out and how it is caused on here but there is one fundamental cause of that and all human suffering.

One simple misunderstanding!

The misunderstanding that your feelings come from the outside world.

Watch out for these phrases:

‘When I have x, I will feel y’

And the one in the GIF, ‘It makes me feel happy’.

Watch out for them in every aspect of your life.

If it looks like your wellbeing is dependent on anything in the outside world, you are barking up the wrong tree.

When I first began to look in this direction, I thought I would grind to a halt without all that pushing and shoving; that my drive would disappear.

The opposite is actually true!

I have never felt more creative.
I have never been more excited.
I have never had so much energy.

I do want things and have desires, but I do not need them to be okay.

It’s a subtle but beautiful difference.

No more pushing and shoving, just a natural flow of creative energy.

In a few days time, it might be looking like a special day has to be a particular way for you to be okay.

You might be wearing yourself out trying to make it perfect.

But how much ease would it bring if you knew that now matter what happens, your emotional wellbeing and that of the people you are catering for has nothing to do with how that day looks?

How much would that take off your mind?

If you are feeling the Christmas overwhelm rising or if it rised at any other time of year, please drop me a message and let’s see if I can help.

If you are a busy, midlife founder, CEO or leader who is ready to go from feeling ... Stressed, Overwhelm & Stuck TO Calm, Clarity and Contentment then please accept my gift of 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer Calm by clicking here.

You can watch me talk more about this topic on the video or catch up via my podcast below.

How to Feel Happier no Matter What

by Clare Downham - Queen of Calm | The Calmcast