Knowing you are a mince pie is one of the ways to stop caring what others think about you.

Equally helpful is knowing you are a brussel sprout!

Even knowing you are a Christmas pudding is just as helpful.

It doesn’t really matter but you are same as an item of Christmas food in terms of what people think about you and feel in your presence.

Now this is not a licence to be a donkey (seriously how much more Christmas themed can this post get?) but it can free you from exhausting yourself over Christmas trying to make everyone else happy.

I used mince pies to explain the principles behind how our human experience is created with two people over the weekend.

Firstly my step-son.

In the car on Friday he was telling us that Christmas made him happy.

This opened up a great conversation about the fact that it is not mince pies and chocolate (or anything else about Christmas) which makes us happy but our thinking about those things.

He really got it!

Kids usually do; they have less old, conditioned, habitual thinking on board I think!

They don’t need ways to stop caring what others think because they haven’t got so embroiled in the idea of people thinking about them yet.

Then I was chatting to a client and I found myself saying, “You know you are a mince pie”

I explained it like this.

Let’s say we put 100 people in a room with 100 mince pies.

There would be some who loved the mince pies
There would be some who could take or leave them.
There would be some who absolutely hate them.

Thus proving that mince pies do not create feelings.

And neither do you.

It’s not you or what you do, it’s their thinking about you which makes people feel a certain way.

In terms of how the human experience is created, you are just like a mince pie.

At this time of year, it can be exhausting trying to please everyone.

But what if you were able to just trust yourself and do what you feel is nice and then just get on with your day.

It would bring ease to gift buying.
It would bring ease to planning the big day.
It would bring ease to deciding what food to serve.

As I said above, this not a licence to be like King Herod (seriously is there a LinkedIn prize for the most Christmas shoe-horned into a post) but it is an opportunity to not get caught up in Christmas overthinking and overwhelm.

It’s not you, it’s their thinking about you!

When you know this deeply, you are naturally in a place of calm, clarity and contentment and so connected to your fellow humans that you easily find ways to rub along happily with them.

If you are feeling the Christmas overwhelm rising or if that happens at any other time of year I usually have few slots for Calm, Clarity Hours in my diary.

If you are a busy, midlife founder, CEO or leader who is ready to go from feeling ... Stressed, Overwhelm & Stuck TO Calm, Clarity and Contentment then please accept my gift of 5 Simple Truths to Take You Closer Calm by clicking here.

You can watch me talk more about this topic on the video or catch up via my podcast below.

Ways to Stop Caring What Others Think

by Clare Downham - Queen of Calm | The Calmcast